Pokemon Series Antagonistic Teams Ranked by Fit Tests


Each Pokémon has an antagonistic team. It is a fact of life. As sure as all the moms in the game are so desperate to get you out of their homes that they actually give you running shoes. As sure as Professor Oak will always ask you for your pronouns. As sure as your protagonist will never speak, no matter how much better that would make the story. There is always an opposing team in the main games.

I know they’re seen as ‘bad guys’ sometimes, but some of these teams don’t really see me as bad guys. Of course, some teams like Magma and Plasma wanted to do things like completely destroy the landscape or reality itself. But there are also groups like Team Skull which were just a bunch of outcasts who formed a community with each other and simply lacked positive leadership. Or Team Yell who were just misguided fans literally apologizing after realizing their overzealousness was problematic.

Then you have downright silly bands like Team Rocket that rarely seem to have a clear purpose. And despite the theft of thousands of Pokémon of all kinds, their leader will come to you with a Persian and then give up if you beat him … which must cost him millions, if not billions, in capital loss.

But in this article, we are not categorizing them based on their abilities, planning, history, etc. Much like my article on how amazing the costumes looked in Pokemon Conquest, we’re going to do a full fit check of the standard grunts uniforms. But unlike the Conquest article, I rank these teams from worst to best. Please keep in mind that this is my opinion, not App Trigger’s, and more than likely yours. So remember that opinions are subjective. And my opinions are correct.

8. Team call

Just because Team Yell isn’t technically villains doesn’t mean they’re right and nothing is going on with this team more than their looks. There are several reasons why I can’t forgive this look.

First of all, he seems violently uncomfortable. While fashion sometimes trumps function, it does seem painful. Like, the guy with the mohawk probably goes through a ton of skin cream just to deal with the friction issues caused by this adjustment.

I’m even less indulgent with this team as they apparently revere Marnie who, I’m sorry, looks amazing. A look they chose not to imitate ANYTHING.


7. Galactic Team

Team Galactic was just a bad team in every way. Their main goal of rewriting reality made absolutely no sense. Their generals were not communicating and often found out about their own team’s actions at the same time as you. Towards the end of the game, you find out that a vast majority of the grunts and the scientists who work for them didn’t even know what their own team was actually trying to do. They were a mess.

And if you didn’t know any of that, you could just watch their growls to see how messy this team really was. They look like backup dancers for Peter Dinklage’s SNL character “Space Pants”. These morons are walking around in metal tights with bad sci-fi wigs not seen since the original Blade Runner.