Image via Sony Pictures Entertainment
According to Dr. Michael Morbius in the Sony Spider-Man Universe movie Morbius, vampire bats weigh next to nothing, but they are capable of taking down a creature ten times their size, pointing at nearby cow skulls as he approaches a cave full of beasts the size of a pint. A cow, however, is absolutely, positively overshadowed by the ironic pride of the Morbius fanbase and the relentless cult they impose on the rest of the internet, so we imagine a Vampire Bat might have a little harder time taking down this one.
And he grows in power and attains day by day; a Morbius sidekick, LonelyGoomba, took to Twitter to express his regret that the movie wasn’t released in the early 2000s, the era of movie-related video games, thus preventing us from getting a game of Poorly developed PlayStation 2 action-adventure that follows the plot just enough to tie the two pieces of content together.
LonelyGoomba’s fantasy is something of an artistic paradox; movie-related video games rarely tried to hide the fact that they were capitalizing on a movie’s popularity, and so the quality of these games was comparable to that of Morbius as we know it. However, given the poor quality of the movie and the adjacent critical sea of movie tie-in games, most of which are based on really enjoyable movies, what might a tie-in video game look like if it’s based on a movie that’s already universally breaded?
Then again, in the early 2000s, the internet wasn’t the same downward spiral we’re experiencing now, so maybe Morbius and his legion of more or less ironic followers would have died a little quicker.
Morbius is currently available for purchase on Blu-ray.